Dare to Be Relentless and Find Your Superpower

Simply Etta

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When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.

Audre Lorde 

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Hope in a bleak world


LaRae Quy October 21, 2020 How to have hope in a bleak world Unsplash

A lot of people seem to think the world is going to hell in a handbasket.

As if:

  • This was the first time life was unfair
  • This is the first we’ve seen violence in the streets.
  • This is the first time a pandemic has circled the globe.

But you see, for many people who have lived in a “Hey, look at me because I’m so cool” bubble, this is the first time they haven’t been shielded from the unpleasantness of their world. They’ve found that this thing called life can be messy, unpredictable, and crazy!

Well, aren’t you special?

This may come as a shock to many, but this is not the first time the world has been messed up beyond recognition and left people feeling lost and without hope.

Previous generations lacked the physical and material comforts that we take for granted and yet they continued to plow forward — through economic hardship, world wars and devastating illnesses.

Flash forward to 2020, annus horribilis, and we still suffer, only now we are emotionally and psychologically struggling to make sense of what’s going on in the world. Regardless of what you may think right now, the world has never been healthier or seen more racial equity.

So why the sense of hopelessness and depression that affects 53% of adults in the United States? People lack hope in a bleak world because they are:

1. Starved for the fairy tale

The popularity of Marvel Comics movies is no coincidence. People are bored with normal heroes, they want superheroes who fly through the air and save the world with a couple of punches. While these books and movies can be entertaining, we tend to forget something very important in the process: They are fantasies, folks. Not the real thing.

We all loved fairy tales where Cinderella gets her prince, but we forget that Cinders spent years of drudgery and hard work before Lady Luck shined down on her. Here’s the thing: She sucked it up and did the hard work. She faced real threats in her environment — she was malnourished, suffered physical assaults and was shamed for her situation in life.

We are so starved for the fairy tale ending that we ignore what it takes to get there. In doing so, we ignore the realities of the world in which we live. We lose hope because we’re not prepared to overcome what is unpleasant, hard, unfair or difficult.

You want to read about difficulty? Read history. You feel sorry for yourself now? Read history. You think this is the end of the world? Read history. Yes, this is a crappy time for most of us, but this is not the first time people have struggled to make meaning out of their life, and it won’t be the last.

How to make it work for you: Stop searching for silver bullets that will make everything OK. You’re not in second grade anymore. Instead, recognize that your job is to make incremental changes where you can, and every once in a while you’ll hit a breakthrough that will create a big change.

2. Focused on the wrong values

Extremists are children dressed up as adults. They insist that their values are more important than anyone else’s. They refuse to acknowledge interests or opinions that differ from their own, and they insist that their version of the world is the right one.

If there is any confusion on the acceptable way to think about issues, extremists resort to intimidation and virtue signaling so there is no doubt that they are right and everyone else is wrong.

Extremists are willing to cause pain and suffering so they can eliminate the moral inferiority of the people they despise. In other words, eliminate people who think differently. Now, that sounds real mature, doesn’t it?

We are not surrounded by crushing world events so much as we are surrounded by immaturity. Our world problems have jettisoned way past what is right or wrong; we are now in the clutches of childish behavior and values. It’s a “me first” mentality, my “right to be my own God” approach to life, that causes hopelessness.

How to make it work for you: If you listen to your inner wisdom, you instinctively know that life isn’t really about you and your petty problems. Everyone has value, no matter their opinions, so grow up and treat people with respect. Even those with whom you disagree — especially them.

3. Sucked in by happiness

Our vacuous and self-focused culture only asks us to identify what makes us happy, and then gives us permission to substitute happiness in life for a purpose that provides meaning to our life.

Our pursuit of happiness is toxic because it conflates the good life with living a good life. We all suffer, but if we’re mature and smart about it, we suffer for the things that matter to us.

Our fixation on happiness has produced a crop of people who don’t know how to function in the real world. Protecting people from obstacles and adversity won’t make them happier; they simply become insecure. They have no compass in a storm because they’ve been raised to look at any inconvenience as intolerable.

Our values are defined by what we are willing to struggle to achieve. If something holds value for us, we will endure the pain and struggle of making it happen. The person we become is defined by the way we overcome our struggles, suffering and pain. Our greatest moments in life will be defined by these things, not by our pathetic attempts at happiness.

Joy is a lasting attitude, while happiness is an ephemeral emotion. Demand more from life than a few fleeting moments of an emotion that draws its power from others. Instead, dare yourself to dig down deep and find joy.

It is in our choices that we become mentally tough. We learn to prioritize our emotions, thoughts and behavior so we can pick what is important to us based on our values and beliefs.

How to make it work for you: Good values are achieved internally; bad values rely upon external circumstances. Once you’ve defined your values, prioritize them. What are the values you place above all else? These are the ones that influence the decisions you make in work and life.

4. Not willing to have faith in something bigger than themselves

Anxiety and depression are a crisis of hope. When we deal with adversity and obstacles, our hope narrative is what gives us a sense of purpose. Hope boils down to this: We have reason to believe we can grow to become a better person in the future and that there are ways we can move toward that growth.

Hopelessness means we’ve lost touch with what matters to us. Why push on? The world has become one big toilet bowl about to be flushed.

We must have faith in something. We need to find value somewhere. It’s how we psychologically survive and thrive. The opposite of joy and contentment is hopelessness. It’s an endless gray horizon of resignation and indifference.

The spiritual dimension of a person helps them answer this question: Why am I here? This also does something else very important by giving them hope. They believe things will improve, and they will be the one to improve them. Hope is sadly missing in today’s society.

The World Health Organization has found that religion, personal beliefs and spirituality give people a sense of purpose and hope. Spirituality encourages people to explore what builds the human spirit.

The world is a scary and stressful place that values perfectionism, materialism and selfishness over human connection. Any spiritual belief and practice is a way to bring hope back into our lives. Without hope, we cannot be brave.

How to make it work for you: There’s no one best way to explore your spirituality. Everyone’s path toward the holy is different and unique, but here are some useful suggestions:

  • Make time for prayer or meditation as a part of your daily routine
  • Read scripture, sacred texts, or other writings that inspire you
  • Join a group that worships or practices together
  • Experiment with physical expressions, such as yoga, walking, singing or dancing

Defining Three Star Leadership

Definitions and Principles

21 Jun 2014

Leadership is an apprentice trade.

You may learn something about it from books and in the classroom, but you learn about it mostly from other people. One well-researched leadership development model indicates that you will learn 70 percent from the work itself, 20 percent from other people (mostly your boss, but also coaches, peers, and mentors), and 10 percent from courses and reading.

Leadership is about behavior

Different authors and pundits use different vocabulary and definitions for “leadership.” Most of it is good and helpful, but it’s important to understand that leadership is about behavior. Behavior is what you say and what you do. Nothing else

You do not control others, you can only influence them.

Leadership is using the behavior you can control (your own) to influence the behavior of others in a group so that the group moves toward an objective. Learning about leadership should involve learning how to do that.

Great leaders have two objectives

As a leader you have two objectives. One is to accomplish the mission, get the job done, make your numbers. The other is to care for the people on your team and help them grow and develop. Another way to say that is that your job is to help the team and team members succeed, both now and in the future.

Your leadership development is never done

Leadership is a lifelong learning project. You are never done because there are always techniques and skills that you need to master. That’s why my Three Star Leadership material is designed so that you can learn about what to do naturally and easily, and then have the resources to continue learning for the rest of your life.

The Deep Church: From the Borgias to Becciu – Crisis Magazine

The Australian government is now beginning to confirm what most of us have suspected for years. In a display of ruthlessness and corruption that would thrill the Borgias, Vatican bureaucrats wired a small fortune to unknown parties in Australia to initiate the fraudulent sex-abuse charges against George Cardinal Pell. According to local media reports, officials …

Source: The Deep Church: From the Borgias to Becciu – Crisis Magazine

This Day in History: Oct. 23

Encyclopaedia Britannica

1983 Beirut barracks bombing 1983 – U.S. and French troops attacked in Beirut On this day in 1983, suicide bombers drove truckloads of high explosives into the barracks of U.S. Marines and French paratroopers in Beirut, killing 241 U.S. servicemen and 58 French troops.

Hungarian Revolution

1956 – The Hungarian Revolution began with a massive demonstration in Budapest.

International Atomic Energy Agency headquarters

1956 – The International Atomic Energy Agency was created with the purpose of increasing the contribution of atomic energy to world peace.

Bernard Law Montgomery

1942 – The British, led by Field Marshal Bernard Law Montgomery, launched a successful infantry attack against the Germans at El-Alamein, Egypt, during World War II.

President Trump Releases FULL TAPE of “Vicious” 60 Minutes Interview with Hack Reporter Lesley Stahl (VIDEO)

President Trump sat down with Lesley Stahl from “60 Minutes” for a much anticipated interview that will air on Sunday — ten days before the November election. “60 Minutes” is notorious for cutting and editing their interviews with conservatives to make them look their worst. Does anyone doubt they would do this with their interview…

Source: BREAKING: President Trump Releases FULL TAPE of “Vicious” 60 Minutes Interview with Hack Reporter Lesley Stahl (VIDEO)