When to provide a heads up


Loyalty is expected but hard to give sometimes. Or so it seems these days. People want to believe others will have their back, but daily life is layered in nuance and competing interests. It also seems that some have taken to heart Game of Thrones believing life is one big quest for the Iron Throne. In this odd way of being there’s a continuous maneuvering.

Interestingly, in the last year, I have had several people implore me to give them “a heads up”. Specifically, I was asked to let them know if and when I knew a certain fate was to befall them. For instance, sometimes people will ask you to give them a heads up if you hear they will be let go. Or they may want to have a warning if somehow you know their significant other is contemplating ending the relationship. But can you let someone know that if you get the heads up. Can you pay that heads up forward? It is an odd conundrum depending on how you found out in the first place. How people connect and help each other out can take various forms. But a heads up can be chancy and iffy.

On Game of Thrones, giving a heads up to one another didn’t really work out as it created innumerable new problems. The same is true in the real world. Sometimes, it is just better to play along. But at other points, the smart move is to provide fair warning. You feel better about yourself and you help someone in the process. But make sure it’s all reasonable and won’t cause you headaches.

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