Guys, please stop saying ‘bro’, ‘dude’, and ‘mate’

Kopitiam Bot


Listen: You have to stop saying “bro”. I’m your friend, and I have to tell you that you sound like an idiot when you use “bro”, or “dude”, and “mate”.

You are not allowed to use “bro” the same way your parents cannot use “cool”. It does not sound right in your mouth. I cringe for you.

The only time you can use “dude” is when :

• You have a surfboard under your arm and are about to hit some gnarly waves.

• You just base-jumped off Mount Faber.

• You own a chain of Polynesian-themed bars.

“Dude” is used a lot on the Internet. It is used most often when someone wants to act superior but does not want to sound like a prat, even when he is being a gigantic prat.

“Chill, dude. I was only joking.”

“Dude, if you like immigrants so much…

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